Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Wimp or Wonder Woman? The Jury is Still Out!

I recently got back from a trip to see my girlfriend, Julie. We have been friends for what seems like forever (45 years) and I hadn't seen her since a few months after Geoff passed away. She lives in Idaho, which is a full 2 day drive from here. Whew! Stressful! I could fly, but that's a whole other level of stress. I did that the last time I went to see her, and was a puddle of tears by the time her dear sweet hubby picked me up from the airport. Just a note here, I'm not your average scaredy cat girl. Actually, I like to think I can do just about anything I put my mind to. But so much has changed since Geoff died, and I get anxious and scared about the stupidest little things. In fact, I don't listen or watch the news anymore. It's just too scary. I think I'm fine at the time, but then I wake up at 2 in the morning, and can't go back to sleep. Ok, confession time.... one evening after dinner, David and I were going to watch Scooby Doo on Zombie Island, but a few minutes into the movie, I realized that it was too scary. Told David we had to turn it off. Yea. Scooby Doo. God, what a weenie. And then I feel bad because I'm not a wimp, but obviously, right now the evidence doesn't really support that.

Where was I? Oh, yea. Julie's oldest was getting married, and she could really use my help in the days leading up to the wedding. My job would be to help lower her stress level. She says I'm good at that, something about being slow and methodical, or some such thing. I was going to be out of school, and it just seemed like the timing was going to be good. I've never driven that far by myself, and the thought of the whole trip was more than a bit overwhelming, but I really wanted to see her, and we had sooo much to talk about. Oh, but a wedding. I knew it would be an emotional time for me, since I would be thinking about Geoff, how he would never see our boys get married. Yes, that was a biggie! Of course there would be lots of people, and I hate to cry in front of people. And, and, and. I went back and forth, first thinking it would be too tough, then knowing I could do it, and right back to, "Lordy, girl, what are you thinking??"

After lots of thought and more than one or two sleepless nights, I decided that I should just "put my big girl panties on" and do it. I'm happy to say the trip was a success! I survived the drive, and didn't get lost. It was nice to see folks I hadn't seen since what seemed forever, and got lots of love and hugs. And, yes, I cried. I cried alot. But you know what? I survived. And now I'm that much stronger.